Recently a colleague and I were talking about the encouragement of mental health awareness in a professional work setting. Both of us have heard several patients talk about having to take part in trainings or workshops around mental health topics, where they were often encouraged to make personal disclosures in front of their colleagues.
As a psychotherapist in Berlin Mitte, I have first hand experience of this new phenomenon as I was employed by a huge company in Berlin to provide short term sessions to employees during the course of the pandemic. It’s been fascinating for me to observe this corporate attempt to destigmatize mental health as well as some of the unintended negative consequences that are not being discussed.
In recent years there has been a noticeable push to normalise conversations about mental health. Almost every other week a celebrity comes out on Netflix to reveal their own internal mental health struggles. The message is clearly that speaking out is a good thing- it reduces stigma, promotes understanding, and encourages others, who are also struggling, to seek help. Workplaces have also been influenced by social emotional learning practices to adopt mental health awareness and disclosure as part of their ongoing employee wellness.
Starting to come to terms with trauma, abuse or mental illness, although hard can also feel like a huge weight is being lifted. When a workplace acknowledges such struggles, it can make one feel valued as a human being, and not just some replaceable worker. An emphasis on mental health awareness and destigmatisation can provide a feeling of belonging and connection, as well as the feeling that work is willing to support you when things are hard emotionally.
But is the workplace really an appropriately safe setting to discuss matters of personal mental health? Could the quest for greater employee health and satisfaction actually contribute to more problems?
When we are encouraged to share at work it often blurs the boundaries between our professional and private lives. When the message is that it’s ok to be vulnerable about personal things at work, there is also an implicit message of “we care and we want to help you”. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but are modern companies, with their focus on growth and productivity, really equipped to care about the complex mental health needs of their employees?
It reminds me of a story I heard about a young woman who felt deeply hurt by a comment that was said in the group chat at work. After revealing her distress to the group, she became wracked with paranoia that everyone would hate her, including her manager. The repeated message she received was to open up, but when she did, she realised she no longer had control over the narrative or how people would receive her disclosure, she felt exposed and full of shame.
When you disclose your mental health struggles publicly, employers, colleagues, or clients may react negatively, either consciously or unconsciously. Some employers may question your reliability or capability, despite anti discrimination laws and policies. Even well-meaning colleagues might treat you differently, altering the dynamics in the workplace in ways that are uncomfortable or further causing shame and doubt.
A psychological concept called social penetration theory comes to mind. Developed by Irwin Altman and Dallas Taylor in the 70’s it is based on a series of studies on “self-disclosure”. They looked at different types of self disclosure and how they contribute to the development of relationships. There are two ways to self-disclose: with breadth (lots of topics) and/or depth (depth of the topics). Too much or too little depth can interrupt the development of closeness and destroy a relationship, as ideally we want to mutually unravel intimacy with a person in a reciprocal back and forth progression (1). Work relationships are primarily about the shared objectives of the company or project, not about developing intimacy, and so have inherent power dynamics and hierarchies which make intimate self-disclosure a much more risky undertaking.
Another common complaint I hear is that managers feel underqualified to deal with some of the emotional topics that their employees might bring to them. It causes a sense of worry, resentment and unfair extra burden. Employees begin to feel that they should reveal their personal struggles at work, and managers begin to feel as if they have been tasked not only to run a team and department, but to also care for the complex mental health needs of their employees.
Working as a trauma therapist in Berlin, I have worked with the emotional toll of people dealing with workplace focus on mental health. In one case, a lady spoke of her intense sense of rage and betrayal at having trusted the company, only to be laid off with no explanation 6 months later- “I thought they really cared about me”, she said.
While there can be genuine benefits to discussing your mental health publicly, it’s crucial to weigh these against the potential risks. It might be more beneficial to seek support through private channels, such as trusted friends, family or mental health professionals, where you can have more control over the narrative and response. In the sessions I have with people who are considering any kind of disclosure, we always talk through the potential motivations and risks, think about the importance of the private vs. the professional and work on effective boundaries that can protect their healing and privacy. If something needs to be addressed at work, we consider what needs to be revealed and to whom for the best outcome.
Ultimately the decision to reveal things about yourself at work is deeply personal, there are some times when work simply needs to know about something going on in your life. But It requires careful consideration of the potential impacts on your privacy, relationships, and well-being. Proceed with caution and prioritise your mental health and safety above all else.
- Altman, I., & Taylor, D.A (1973). Social Penetration: The development of interpersonal relationships. New York: Holt, Rinehart & Winston.